I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
