i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
