This dress was meant to end up on your floor
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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