He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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