Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
