we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
