I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i came on her dog
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
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