Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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