this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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