I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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