The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
