Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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