I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
