i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I have aggressive nipples.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
