I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
