just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
