I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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