I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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