what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
All the doctor said was why
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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