Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
