if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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