i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
