Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I seem to have left my pride at pride
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
we're so committed to being not committed
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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