awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
