so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He called his prostate his "boner button".
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
