so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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