I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
