Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
