Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
