there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
