Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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