You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
