You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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