He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
