Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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