No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
