Do vagina's smell?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
