i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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