just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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