OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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