Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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