My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
