nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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