you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize