shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize