How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
