Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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