hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
