singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
