he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
