how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
