this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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