brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
