You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
