wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
