Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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