he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
