last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize