life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
