By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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