I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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