he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
