i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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