I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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