college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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