No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
