awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Floor bacon is actually really good
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I think i got beer on your cat.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
