why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
