She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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