every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
