he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
