wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
