McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
