Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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