very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
