I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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