eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
