last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
we made out on top of his cat.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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