so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
When are your genitals available?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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